Monday, 26 December 2011
Sedar!
Hallooooo...fuh dah lama pula tidak sepahkan ni blog, sebenarnya aku tidak melarikan diri seperti apa yang telah aku tulis sebelum ni,ya aku sedar jika kita melarikan diri sejauh mana pun ia takkan pernah berakhir dan juga kita tidak dapat lari diri dari takdir hidup. Sebenarnya aku telah gagal dalam merebut wanita yang aku suka, mungkin kerana aku masih tidak cukup baik lagi tapi boleh di cuba masa-masa akan datang, semasa yang aku telah janjikan aku cuba untuk berusaha tetapi terdapat perkara yang membuat aku berputus asa kerana merasa telihat wanita yang aku suka sedang berjalan dengan seorang lelaki kemingkinan kekasih dia,aku juga telah cuba untuk sms dia tetapi cara dia tidak seperti berminat untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut...Biarkan la sahaja perkara ini,tutup buku lama dan buka buku baru kerana 2011 akan berlalu dan munculnya tahun 2012...di harap dengan tahun baru aku mendapat kebahagian hidup aku dari segi poket,fizikal dan sharp...hahaha...tahun baru aku nak cuba fokus untuk mencari duit sebanyak yang mungkin untuk pengajian aku,aku tidak mahu pinjam ptptn dan biar la aku mengunakan usaha aku sendiri dan buktikan yang sebenarnya aku boleh, banyak juga seperti family aku terasa tidak pernah sokong untuk apa yang aku buat, mereka tidak pernah fikir tentang perasaan aku pun,macamna kehidupan aku, kadang2 aku memang berasa sunyi juga tetapi yalah kehidupan hendak diteruskan juga, tetapi suatu hari nanti kelak aku akan cuba buktikan yang aku boleh, tanya tentang apa yang dihajatkan 2012 ni selain cari duit ialah kuruskan badan kembali ke tahap 70kg...hehe...dh berat sangat ni badan,aku ni memang suka makan tetapi sukar untuk mengawalnya apatah lagi dengan kegemaran baru aku pizza dan berger jalanan...hehehe...tapi tidak apa janji benda tu boleh hilangkan tekanan hidup aku, sepeti couple...well what can i say...pasal kekasih lama?sudah setahun berlalu sudah sejak kami berpisah...1 tahun?terasa lama pula,aku cuma harap dia bahagia,aku takut untuk smsnya sudah kerana aku tidak mahu menyusahkan dia lagi,biarla aku mengenangnya sahaja biarpun sebenarnya aku masih mencintai dia,biar pun berapa banyak perempuan aku suka tetapi sukar untuk mengubah yang aku mencintai dia...kadang2 aku merasa sungguh bodoh,sedangkan dia bahagia bersama lelaki lain sudah tetapi aku masih sedar dalam angan,segala kenangan dia dan aku masih aku simpan dan gambarnya aku masih simpan didalam dompet aku,hahaaha bodohnya aku...aku rindu pada bravo,anak patung yang aku hadiahkan pada si dia,kami selalu mengangap patung seperti anak kami,tanya khabar,cakap dengan patung tu la,hehe seronok pula rasa masa itu. hmmmm...apa lagi mahu cerita ah?sebenarnya banyak tapi nanti2 la..hihihi...bye2...see u at 2012 later...
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Adakah Ini Peng-akhiran-nya(part 1)
2 november 2011-6.13pm...
....................................................................mengeluh panjang.................................................................
aku manusia yang lemah, kenapa aku begitu lembap terhadap kesemuanya, adakah aku ditakdirkan kesunyian selamanya? kenapa aku tidak mampu kecapi kebahagia sedangkan orang lain begitu senang mendapat kebahagia, kebahagian itu ialah CINTA...terfikir sejenak dan melihat disekeliling,cemburu rasa melihat pasangan yang sedang bahagia dan lebih-lebih lagi bila mendapat tahu bekas kekasih telah pun bahagia bersama lelaki lain, apabila melihat gambar mereka bersama saling tersenyum yang aku telah melihat itu adalah kebahagiaan,cemburu,sedih,gembira dan kosong...cemburu?aku cemburu akan kebahagiaan mereka yang aku harapkan aku la lelaki yang mampu bahagia kan dia tetapi aku salah,aku adalah lelaki yang tidak layak mendampinginya. sedih?aku sedih kini tidak mampu lagi menatap wajahnya didepan mata,melangkah pergi jauh dari dirinya dan hanya la mampu ku dengari dari jauh kalanya, gembira?kerana aku ingin melihat dia bahagia tapi di sudut hati kecilku rasa kesunyian. kosong?kini aku kosong menjalani hidup sendirian.
tetapi...............................................................................................................................................
aku telah didatangi seorang perempuan yang kiranya bidadari yang dihantar oleh tuhan untuk membuat aku tersenyum, setelah beberapa bulan hanya dapat melihatnya tetapi tidak mampu ku ungkapkan perasaan itu,
kalaulah aku boleh mendapatkan kebahagia bersamanya aku akan menjaganya seumur hidupku dan takkan ku biarkan dia dimiliki oleh orang lain,aku akan memberi sepenuhnya kasih sayang aku kepadanya dan mencintai dia dengan penuh rasa hormat, ingin sekali aku menatap wajahnya dimalam ini yang indah yang sering kali hujan seperti memahami perasaan aku yang sedih dan kesunyian ini,tetapi kenapa malam ini begitu tenang?aku berharap bidadari itu akan terus menyinariku, adakah dia mempunyai perasaan sama dengan apa yang aku rasa?setiap kali aku melihat wajahnya,jantung ku berdebar dan terhenti seketika merasakan betapa hebatnya kuasa cinta itu, setiap kali dia hadir di depan ku teringin sekali aku mengungkapkan kata aku suka pada kamu, tetapi perasaan itu telah menukar ku menjadi serba tidak kena,aku menjadi gemuruh,perkataan menjadi kelam,setiap tingkah mulut ku bergetar.
...........................................................mengeluh lagi....................................................................................
aku keliru...melalui tingkahnya kadang2 membuatkan yang dia juga sukakan aku tetapi kadang2 tingkahnya membuat aku berputus asa yang sebenarnya yang dia tidak sukakan aku tetapi sudah menyukai lelaki lain?patutkah aku menyerah?patutkah aku mencubanya walaupun hanya menyatakan aku suka pada kamu...tetapi aku tidak sanggup untuk ditolak, kebahagiaan dalam diri aku pasti akan hilang ditengalami trauma dan kekecewaan yang tidak ada putusnya...
baiklah ini adalah peng-akhiran-nya...
aku akan cuba memberanikan diri aku untuk cuba memikat hatinya dalam masa bulan ini dan aku bertekad untuk berjuang habis-habisan dan jika aku gagal aku akan berhenti kerja dan akan larikan diri,mungkin jauh atau mungkin tidak d, dan aku tidak akan mengharap cinta itu dipaksa dan biar la cinta itu tulus ikhlas datangnya dari hati kita sendiri.
bersambung.....
*nantikan detik debaran kisah cinta...adakah aku akan berjaya merebut hatinya ataupun aku akan mendatangi kekecewaan dan menghilangkan diri selamanya?
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace)
....................................................................mengeluh panjang.................................................................
aku manusia yang lemah, kenapa aku begitu lembap terhadap kesemuanya, adakah aku ditakdirkan kesunyian selamanya? kenapa aku tidak mampu kecapi kebahagia sedangkan orang lain begitu senang mendapat kebahagia, kebahagian itu ialah CINTA...terfikir sejenak dan melihat disekeliling,cemburu rasa melihat pasangan yang sedang bahagia dan lebih-lebih lagi bila mendapat tahu bekas kekasih telah pun bahagia bersama lelaki lain, apabila melihat gambar mereka bersama saling tersenyum yang aku telah melihat itu adalah kebahagiaan,cemburu,sedih,gembira dan kosong...cemburu?aku cemburu akan kebahagiaan mereka yang aku harapkan aku la lelaki yang mampu bahagia kan dia tetapi aku salah,aku adalah lelaki yang tidak layak mendampinginya. sedih?aku sedih kini tidak mampu lagi menatap wajahnya didepan mata,melangkah pergi jauh dari dirinya dan hanya la mampu ku dengari dari jauh kalanya, gembira?kerana aku ingin melihat dia bahagia tapi di sudut hati kecilku rasa kesunyian. kosong?kini aku kosong menjalani hidup sendirian.
tetapi...............................................................................................................................................
aku telah didatangi seorang perempuan yang kiranya bidadari yang dihantar oleh tuhan untuk membuat aku tersenyum, setelah beberapa bulan hanya dapat melihatnya tetapi tidak mampu ku ungkapkan perasaan itu,
kalaulah aku boleh mendapatkan kebahagia bersamanya aku akan menjaganya seumur hidupku dan takkan ku biarkan dia dimiliki oleh orang lain,aku akan memberi sepenuhnya kasih sayang aku kepadanya dan mencintai dia dengan penuh rasa hormat, ingin sekali aku menatap wajahnya dimalam ini yang indah yang sering kali hujan seperti memahami perasaan aku yang sedih dan kesunyian ini,tetapi kenapa malam ini begitu tenang?aku berharap bidadari itu akan terus menyinariku, adakah dia mempunyai perasaan sama dengan apa yang aku rasa?setiap kali aku melihat wajahnya,jantung ku berdebar dan terhenti seketika merasakan betapa hebatnya kuasa cinta itu, setiap kali dia hadir di depan ku teringin sekali aku mengungkapkan kata aku suka pada kamu, tetapi perasaan itu telah menukar ku menjadi serba tidak kena,aku menjadi gemuruh,perkataan menjadi kelam,setiap tingkah mulut ku bergetar.
...........................................................mengeluh lagi....................................................................................
aku keliru...melalui tingkahnya kadang2 membuatkan yang dia juga sukakan aku tetapi kadang2 tingkahnya membuat aku berputus asa yang sebenarnya yang dia tidak sukakan aku tetapi sudah menyukai lelaki lain?patutkah aku menyerah?patutkah aku mencubanya walaupun hanya menyatakan aku suka pada kamu...tetapi aku tidak sanggup untuk ditolak, kebahagiaan dalam diri aku pasti akan hilang ditengalami trauma dan kekecewaan yang tidak ada putusnya...
baiklah ini adalah peng-akhiran-nya...
aku akan cuba memberanikan diri aku untuk cuba memikat hatinya dalam masa bulan ini dan aku bertekad untuk berjuang habis-habisan dan jika aku gagal aku akan berhenti kerja dan akan larikan diri,mungkin jauh atau mungkin tidak d, dan aku tidak akan mengharap cinta itu dipaksa dan biar la cinta itu tulus ikhlas datangnya dari hati kita sendiri.
bersambung.....
*nantikan detik debaran kisah cinta...adakah aku akan berjaya merebut hatinya ataupun aku akan mendatangi kekecewaan dan menghilangkan diri selamanya?
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace)
Monday, 17 October 2011
malu atau takut?
adei...bila la aku akan ada rasa keberanian untuk mendekati wanita yang bernama nurul aslynda ne @ lynda...
tetapi kadang-kadang tu malu pula untuk memulakan sesuatu perkataan untuk bercakap,dalam hati teringin untuk berkenalan dengan ci dia dengan lebih rapat lagi,tetapi aku dah dapat bercakap dengan dia pun walaupun hanya sedikit pertanyaan,hihihi. tidak menjadi masalah,sekurang-kurangnya dapat bercakap dan mendengar suara dia.dari aku perhatikan dia memang suka tersenyum, memang dengan senyuman dia tu boleh membuat aku tersenyum seorang diri, dia memang lawa,tambah lagi dengan senyuman dia tambah la lagi cantik,cute gitu,(senyum sendirian), lagi bila cakap dengan dia ne bila ditanya soalan dan dia membalas jawapan macam orang tengah marah-marah tapi bila ditengok muka dia senyum-senyum, macam mana mahu cakap ne mungkin ci dia ne suka bergurau-gurau, ada sekali dia datang untuk top up walaupun aku dah tahu apa dia nak isi tapi dia kasi kena juga aku dengan bercakap anwar: reload maxis kan,nah...lynda: ndak,digi...anwar: eh? lynda : maxis la(senyum2 lagi)...dah terkena dah...tp aku suka cara dia, dia memang seorang gadis yang baik dari perhatian aku, aku ingin sekali sms dia dan aku memang dah dapat no.hp dia dr top up dia isi tapi tidak berani untuk sms dia kerana tidak meminta izin dari tuannya sendiri,kalau sms tiba-tiba kan tidak baik tu, nnti dia benci aku lagi aku tdk mahu,lepas tu tidak datang lagi kat kedai aku kerja,tidak dapat la aku melihat senyuman dan gurauan marah tapi suka kasi kena orang ci dia. hah,tadi baru juga dia datang, sebelum tu aku ada buat dialog dalam hati ne,selalu mahu kasi ingat kalau dia datang untuk top up aku mahu cakap boleh sms ko ka ne maw kacau2 kaw...tapi lain pula jadi...anwar: aik habis sdh?mw brapa?lynda:5 anwar : 5.5 lynda:tahu la bha(cakap macam marah2 tp dalam keadaan senyum2) anwar:dari mana? lynda: dari rumah la...(cakap macam marah tp senyum2) :anwar : oh...sdh masuk tu,terima kasih ,lynda: sama2...bha bye2 anwar: bha bye2....adei macam mana la ne...lemah betul la aku ne...macamna la dengan keadaan ini aku mw rapat dengan dia ne,rasanya malu dan takut dan juga pemikiran yang belum bersedia atau macam-macam la aku lemah ne...relex jap,,,,berfikir"merenung"berdoa"(ya allah,engkau permudah kan la diri aku untuk mendapati ci dia bernama lynda untuk aku dapat berkenalan dengan dia dengan lebih rapat dan engkau jauhi la aku dari perkara larangan mu dan jauhi la kami dari segala maksiat dan engaku restui dan redhoi la dengan berkatmu ya allah,beri la keberanian kebahagian kepada aku insan yang lemah dan tidak mampu berbuat apa2 hanya dengan kuasamu ya allah yang maha berkuasa,penyayang...hanya padamu ku berserah....amin) kta tunggu cerita seterusnya adakah aku akan dapat terus rapat dengan dia ataupun masih sama?entah la...see ya
anwar the sweetmango
(peace & love)
tetapi kadang-kadang tu malu pula untuk memulakan sesuatu perkataan untuk bercakap,dalam hati teringin untuk berkenalan dengan ci dia dengan lebih rapat lagi,tetapi aku dah dapat bercakap dengan dia pun walaupun hanya sedikit pertanyaan,hihihi. tidak menjadi masalah,sekurang-kurangnya dapat bercakap dan mendengar suara dia.dari aku perhatikan dia memang suka tersenyum, memang dengan senyuman dia tu boleh membuat aku tersenyum seorang diri, dia memang lawa,tambah lagi dengan senyuman dia tambah la lagi cantik,cute gitu,(senyum sendirian), lagi bila cakap dengan dia ne bila ditanya soalan dan dia membalas jawapan macam orang tengah marah-marah tapi bila ditengok muka dia senyum-senyum, macam mana mahu cakap ne mungkin ci dia ne suka bergurau-gurau, ada sekali dia datang untuk top up walaupun aku dah tahu apa dia nak isi tapi dia kasi kena juga aku dengan bercakap anwar: reload maxis kan,nah...lynda: ndak,digi...anwar: eh? lynda : maxis la(senyum2 lagi)...dah terkena dah...tp aku suka cara dia, dia memang seorang gadis yang baik dari perhatian aku, aku ingin sekali sms dia dan aku memang dah dapat no.hp dia dr top up dia isi tapi tidak berani untuk sms dia kerana tidak meminta izin dari tuannya sendiri,kalau sms tiba-tiba kan tidak baik tu, nnti dia benci aku lagi aku tdk mahu,lepas tu tidak datang lagi kat kedai aku kerja,tidak dapat la aku melihat senyuman dan gurauan marah tapi suka kasi kena orang ci dia. hah,tadi baru juga dia datang, sebelum tu aku ada buat dialog dalam hati ne,selalu mahu kasi ingat kalau dia datang untuk top up aku mahu cakap boleh sms ko ka ne maw kacau2 kaw...tapi lain pula jadi...anwar: aik habis sdh?mw brapa?lynda:5 anwar : 5.5 lynda:tahu la bha(cakap macam marah2 tp dalam keadaan senyum2) anwar:dari mana? lynda: dari rumah la...(cakap macam marah tp senyum2) :anwar : oh...sdh masuk tu,terima kasih ,lynda: sama2...bha bye2 anwar: bha bye2....adei macam mana la ne...lemah betul la aku ne...macamna la dengan keadaan ini aku mw rapat dengan dia ne,rasanya malu dan takut dan juga pemikiran yang belum bersedia atau macam-macam la aku lemah ne...relex jap,,,,berfikir"merenung"berdoa"(ya allah,engkau permudah kan la diri aku untuk mendapati ci dia bernama lynda untuk aku dapat berkenalan dengan dia dengan lebih rapat dan engkau jauhi la aku dari perkara larangan mu dan jauhi la kami dari segala maksiat dan engaku restui dan redhoi la dengan berkatmu ya allah,beri la keberanian kebahagian kepada aku insan yang lemah dan tidak mampu berbuat apa2 hanya dengan kuasamu ya allah yang maha berkuasa,penyayang...hanya padamu ku berserah....amin) kta tunggu cerita seterusnya adakah aku akan dapat terus rapat dengan dia ataupun masih sama?entah la...see ya
anwar the sweetmango
(peace & love)
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Cinta Berputik Dalam Keraguan
cinta sudah berputik di taman firdausi, daun jangan dicari biar bunga dicari...apa maksud cinta berputik di taman firdausi ne dalam kisah ne?hihi...saksikan kisah cinta aku yang mula berputik setelah cinta lama dalam kenangan tetapi masih segar dalam ingatan.
ok la, beberapa bulan selepas aku berkerja di tempat aku kerja ne mungkin dalam selepas sebulan, tiba2 muncul seorang wanita yang cantik, kalau orang kampung panggil ayu begitu katakan,ceh wah. apabila memandangnya untuk kali pertama hati sudah rasa terpikat,matanya ibarat bulan mengambang bila di tenung tidak jemu di pandang, rambutnya yang ikal mayang menambah keanggunannya, pakaiannya melambangkan keperibadiannya yang sopan dan senyumannya mengikat kail pancing di hati aku dan tidak boleh di lepaskan jika orangnya tidak melepaskannya.
mungkin seingat aku pada bulan april lalu aku berjumpanya di tempat aku kerja tetapi aku hanya sering memandangnya dan menjelingnya, aku mempunyai perasaan yang di seolah turut memandang dan menjeling aku juga tetapi aku tidak dapat membaca fikiran perempuan ini, aku tidak dapat lari dari melihat matanya yang cantik tu dan senyuman dia sangat aku ingin melihat seperti menghilangkan tekanan kerja yang orang sering datang seperti ribut, cubalah datang satu-satu, ne datang macam mau beli tiket wayang ja,banyak orang bersusun panjang, sudah tempat aku berkerja hanya tempat design,photocopy dan sebagainya,mana lagi dengan type,editing,designing dan photocopy lagi. dalam beberapa bulan selepas itu, dia selalu datang untuk mengisi kredit telefon bimbit dalam tempoh setiap minggu dalam satu bulan itu tiga kali top up(lebih mudah disebut dah) dan sesudah itu tidak ada lagi datang, di sini timbul banyak soalan yang aku tidak dapat membaca fikirannya lagi,kami jarang sekali bertegur sapa tetapi sering melihat antara satu sama yang lain. lalu aku bertanya pada diri aku sendiri adakah dia datang sebelum ini untuk memberi no telefonnya untuk sms dia ataupun dia hanya mempunyai niat untuk top up sahaja? yalah dia kan umpama bulan yang jauhnya seperti aku di lautan,jika dapat pun hendak melimpasi awan,langit dan bumi terdahulu.
pernah terlintas di fikiran aku juga untuk mengetahui siapa namanya gelaran si gadis cantik ini,
tetapi beberapa bulan yang agak lama dia tidak dapat ke tempat aku kerja sudah dan aku berfikir mungkin dia sudah mempunyai kekasih hati yang lebih layak bersamanya, aku yang mempunyai sifat pemalu tetapi dalam pemalu aku mempunyai sifat panas baran yang memang dari dulu aku ingin membuang sifat buruk ini, dalam aku pemalu, aku juga sukar membaca fikiran setiap manusia jika tepat pun hanya sekadar kebetulan, dan ada lagi.
sejak ketiada dia memang tidak selesa perasaan ini, selalu menunggunya yang ingin melihat wajahnya yang indah itu tetapi tiada, setelah aku putus harapan, tetapi perasaan ne berasa sungguh tidak dapat disangkakan, sejak kedatangan dia pada bulan ne setelah beberapa bulan tidak timbul-timbul dan sekarang aku dapat melihatnya semula dan berasa seperti tidak tahu macammana hendak di katakan mungkin kah itu cinta?cinta memang selalunya membuat orang berasa tidak tentu bukan, setelah aku melihat kertas yang hendak dia photocopykan itu aku terlihat namanya di sehelai kertas dan dalam hati aku berkata betapa gembiranya setelah mengetahui namanya iaitu nurul aslynda, tidak tahu la apa nama penuhnya lagi tapi sekurang-kurangnya hati ini berasa selesa walaupun hanya mengetahui namanya, biarlah aku pendam kan sahaja perasaan suka aku ini kepadanya takut kecewa akan ditinggalkan lagi,ditolak dan mengetahui dia sudah berpunya. biarlah aku hanya dapat memandangnya,melihat matanya,senyummannya sudah cukup hati ini merasa bahagia, mungkin kerana kenangan lama tidak dapat dilupakan dan tidak mampu untuk mendapat kekecewaan apabila orang yang kita makin bertambah sayang itu di suatu hari yang tidak pasti akan meninggalkan kita(bukan bermaksud meninggal dunia) biar lah aku mengharapkan melihat senyumman mu dan melihat mata mu nurul asylnda...
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace always)
*maksud aku yang dimaksudkan dengan taman firdausi iaitu tempat aku kerja nama dia syarikat firdaus, itulah dimaksudkan dengan taman firdausi dalam kisah ini, cinta mampu mengubah segalanya tetapi apa yang telah ditetapkan oleh allah s.w.t tidak dapat kita mengubahnya.
sejak ketiada dia memang tidak selesa perasaan ini, selalu menunggunya yang ingin melihat wajahnya yang indah itu tetapi tiada, setelah aku putus harapan, tetapi perasaan ne berasa sungguh tidak dapat disangkakan, sejak kedatangan dia pada bulan ne setelah beberapa bulan tidak timbul-timbul dan sekarang aku dapat melihatnya semula dan berasa seperti tidak tahu macammana hendak di katakan mungkin kah itu cinta?cinta memang selalunya membuat orang berasa tidak tentu bukan, setelah aku melihat kertas yang hendak dia photocopykan itu aku terlihat namanya di sehelai kertas dan dalam hati aku berkata betapa gembiranya setelah mengetahui namanya iaitu nurul aslynda, tidak tahu la apa nama penuhnya lagi tapi sekurang-kurangnya hati ini berasa selesa walaupun hanya mengetahui namanya, biarlah aku pendam kan sahaja perasaan suka aku ini kepadanya takut kecewa akan ditinggalkan lagi,ditolak dan mengetahui dia sudah berpunya. biarlah aku hanya dapat memandangnya,melihat matanya,senyummannya sudah cukup hati ini merasa bahagia, mungkin kerana kenangan lama tidak dapat dilupakan dan tidak mampu untuk mendapat kekecewaan apabila orang yang kita makin bertambah sayang itu di suatu hari yang tidak pasti akan meninggalkan kita(bukan bermaksud meninggal dunia) biar lah aku mengharapkan melihat senyumman mu dan melihat mata mu nurul asylnda...
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace always)
*maksud aku yang dimaksudkan dengan taman firdausi iaitu tempat aku kerja nama dia syarikat firdaus, itulah dimaksudkan dengan taman firdausi dalam kisah ini, cinta mampu mengubah segalanya tetapi apa yang telah ditetapkan oleh allah s.w.t tidak dapat kita mengubahnya.
Friday, 23 September 2011
Kenang Dalam Pendam Rasa
Dalam seharian ku pendam rasa,
Entah mungkin untuk meneruskan perjuang sisa-sisa hidup ku,
Lupa sejenak kasih dan sayang ku,
Ia kisah mahupun cinta?
Apa guna berkenang setelah diri ini ditinggalkan kesunyian,
Namun jua ku ingin ungkapkan kata hati yang luka parah,
Ibarat tali yang putus dari benangnya,
Tetapi izinkan ku ungkapkan kata I LOVE YOU,
Hingga ke akhir hayat ku ini untuk mu seorang,
Akan ku kenang mu jua dalam lubuk hati ku,
Variasi wajah mu tidak dapat dilupakan,
Oleh itu aku merindu,
Rindu kasih hanya padamu,
Namun nama mu ku tidak lupa hiasi laman ku.
Sunday, 21 August 2011
A Dolphin
Before last night, i was dreaming something weird and it all start with a dream and a dolphin.
i even don't understand meaning of all this and why suddenly a dolphin?
ok that night when i sleep and i dreaming a dolphin try to safe me from the pool i don't know where is that place anyway,and then that dolphin save my wallet and my handphone,that dolphin try to tell me that my wallet and handphone like really important to me 1 day. i try to touch that dolphin and say thank you but i'm scare to touch that dolphin because of me have a high imagine like that dolphin going to bite my hand and whatever la but i know that dolphin is nice but suddenly i just try to close again with that dolphin and really more i don't understand because it become disappear,of course i'm wake up from my sleep...haiyoooooo...i become blur and asking with myself what actually it going to be happen?
last night, i become happy when my ex-gf suddenly sms me with say hai...:)...and got smile again...hehe...and with fast i'm just reply same hai and asking her how she is,she was boring that night and her bf Mr.D was hangout with his friend,so i'm just try to friend her with sms and make she just happy cause i don't want look her sad anymore even i'm not her ready but i'm try to be her friend, a lovely friend that i can care for her and won't let her sad and hurt, so i'm just explain to her that i can friend her when her bored or when she need friend just can sms me and don't forget about that and i try to make she feel better that her bf will never forget her and can take care good of her,if he hurt her i will not let him go. but actually yes i'm not joking and not just make her feel better and i'm serious about that.then, we was talk,talk and talk and i'm telling her about my dream about a dolphin and she got asking that she like dolphin and yes i'm still remember that she is like dolphin and i can imagine that my ex have a same like a dolphin,a same them is cute,smart,kind,understanding and lovely...she is like a dolphin and yes i like a dolphin but scary with my high imagine...hahaha...well i hope she is my dolphin that i was dreaming with full of question,i wish i can dream again and know what is this all about and what going to be happen...hmmm?
by,
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace)
*actually i hate words of forever already,it was haunting me when me or someone else saying with their couple their will love forever with them couple and at the last their will broke up also but sometime i'm trust that love forever will have but not all will get it,what i'm try to do if i can get love i will say i will love her everyday,i don't care if she 1 day start to tired to hear it but what important is i'm love her everyday my life.now i'm still single and still not thinking replace someone that i'm still love her.not wrong if i'm still waiting for her until god will decide who will i meet with my love.:)
i even don't understand meaning of all this and why suddenly a dolphin?
ok that night when i sleep and i dreaming a dolphin try to safe me from the pool i don't know where is that place anyway,and then that dolphin save my wallet and my handphone,that dolphin try to tell me that my wallet and handphone like really important to me 1 day. i try to touch that dolphin and say thank you but i'm scare to touch that dolphin because of me have a high imagine like that dolphin going to bite my hand and whatever la but i know that dolphin is nice but suddenly i just try to close again with that dolphin and really more i don't understand because it become disappear,of course i'm wake up from my sleep...haiyoooooo...i become blur and asking with myself what actually it going to be happen?
last night, i become happy when my ex-gf suddenly sms me with say hai...:)...and got smile again...hehe...and with fast i'm just reply same hai and asking her how she is,she was boring that night and her bf Mr.D was hangout with his friend,so i'm just try to friend her with sms and make she just happy cause i don't want look her sad anymore even i'm not her ready but i'm try to be her friend, a lovely friend that i can care for her and won't let her sad and hurt, so i'm just explain to her that i can friend her when her bored or when she need friend just can sms me and don't forget about that and i try to make she feel better that her bf will never forget her and can take care good of her,if he hurt her i will not let him go. but actually yes i'm not joking and not just make her feel better and i'm serious about that.then, we was talk,talk and talk and i'm telling her about my dream about a dolphin and she got asking that she like dolphin and yes i'm still remember that she is like dolphin and i can imagine that my ex have a same like a dolphin,a same them is cute,smart,kind,understanding and lovely...she is like a dolphin and yes i like a dolphin but scary with my high imagine...hahaha...well i hope she is my dolphin that i was dreaming with full of question,i wish i can dream again and know what is this all about and what going to be happen...hmmm?
by,
anwar the sweetmango
(love and peace)
*actually i hate words of forever already,it was haunting me when me or someone else saying with their couple their will love forever with them couple and at the last their will broke up also but sometime i'm trust that love forever will have but not all will get it,what i'm try to do if i can get love i will say i will love her everyday,i don't care if she 1 day start to tired to hear it but what important is i'm love her everyday my life.now i'm still single and still not thinking replace someone that i'm still love her.not wrong if i'm still waiting for her until god will decide who will i meet with my love.:)
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Are I'm Still Dreaming?
July is past, I'm not trusting in fortuneteller because got this singh or indian come to me and ask me for let him to fortuneteller me and that time i was blur and just let him and telling me that july is my lucky month and then get 3 happiness again. Now, July is past and now is August and I don't even feel that happiness come to me, oh yes he of course he just want cari makan,oh well it was past ready and i even don't believe in that fortuneteller because there is no one can know what god is plan for us is it?I'm agree with that.
hmmm, are i'm still dreaming? that actually i wan't to story about,there is so many things happen to me but it all is just like a dreaming to me, i don't even realize are i'm in august ready?so fast time past, i feel just yesterday i'm with my gf and still thinking about her,and also feel like yesterday i'm just do like today?what a dream is this? i really need someone to woke me up from my sleep and tell me i was only dreaming. Sometimes i feel like i'm not in my own place,i feel like i'm at somewhere far away from life and i'm in some of place kind like a peace place where i can feel a nature that so perfectly and i was thinking created by god was amazing,hmmm where i am actually?
i don' know.
back to my love story yes i feel like yesterday i was still with my gf but i realize it was ending ready and now she is happy with someone guy ready and his name Mr Darcy that she always saying,i can feel how she is happy with him ready,can see from every words she saying and no i won't disturb her happiness because if she feel that happiness i will let her because i want see her happy and that the way i reply how i care and love her so much like this story deep in heart,yes it really deep in my heart...every night i'm still imagine about her,in my sleep and everyday my day past must have her past in my mind and then always see almost same with her but it was not her it just a bad imagine that more loving of her,i ready imagine how i can't life with her and now i feel it,it was not what we thinking it going to be like this but i hope god will send me a angel to give me a friend where i can say out my feeling,please give me a angel...:p (just joke)...well, i'm wish i can find my angel actually,as long she can accept me as myself that enough and each other is understanding that enough for me for now...that all for now and please wake me up from my dream(waiting who that girl is wake me up from my sleep and dream)
by,
anwar the sweetmango...:)
(love and peace)
hmmm, are i'm still dreaming? that actually i wan't to story about,there is so many things happen to me but it all is just like a dreaming to me, i don't even realize are i'm in august ready?so fast time past, i feel just yesterday i'm with my gf and still thinking about her,and also feel like yesterday i'm just do like today?what a dream is this? i really need someone to woke me up from my sleep and tell me i was only dreaming. Sometimes i feel like i'm not in my own place,i feel like i'm at somewhere far away from life and i'm in some of place kind like a peace place where i can feel a nature that so perfectly and i was thinking created by god was amazing,hmmm where i am actually?
i don' know.
back to my love story yes i feel like yesterday i was still with my gf but i realize it was ending ready and now she is happy with someone guy ready and his name Mr Darcy that she always saying,i can feel how she is happy with him ready,can see from every words she saying and no i won't disturb her happiness because if she feel that happiness i will let her because i want see her happy and that the way i reply how i care and love her so much like this story deep in heart,yes it really deep in my heart...every night i'm still imagine about her,in my sleep and everyday my day past must have her past in my mind and then always see almost same with her but it was not her it just a bad imagine that more loving of her,i ready imagine how i can't life with her and now i feel it,it was not what we thinking it going to be like this but i hope god will send me a angel to give me a friend where i can say out my feeling,please give me a angel...:p (just joke)...well, i'm wish i can find my angel actually,as long she can accept me as myself that enough and each other is understanding that enough for me for now...that all for now and please wake me up from my dream(waiting who that girl is wake me up from my sleep and dream)
by,
anwar the sweetmango...:)
(love and peace)
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
I'm A Dancer Of Shuffler & Freestyle Machine
I want to learn more again about dancer and hope my friends who always stick together and support me lee kuan yung,danny and shinta...their is my bestfriends better i ever had,everything share about how to be a good dancer and learn from a mistake,it ok if we defeat with other people,make it like a fire burn in heart that make up our spirit that we can do more better with learn from a mistake make us more mature and know about dance,we all have a dream want to conquer around KK then this december go KL to conquer over there,i have a dream i want to go japan to learn more about this machine dance,im here at japan their have a lot of pro dancer,i was interested in them,their are to cool and awesome,i wish 1 day that my dream come true and can go with my dancer friends...i will improve and plus my skill again in dance machine,freestyle,tectonic,jumpstyle and shuffle are going be mine,next is korean dance is im try to learn from my friend lee...he was to good in korean dance and he a lot give me skill,inspiration and technique...wish them all going to be stick together with me and create own team...1 day...:)
a dancer:
anwar ahmed(peace)
a dancer:
anwar ahmed(peace)
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Bring My Love
Swear,
There's no more chance to be with you,
Now,
I know the way how i want keep always with you,
Bring my love,
Take it wherever you want,
Just take it as your friend,
Your beloved friend,
Swear,
I'm here will doing the same,
Keep loving you in my life,
In my heart,
till someday time will decide us,
1 Day...
There's no more chance to be with you,
Now,
I know the way how i want keep always with you,
Bring my love,
Take it wherever you want,
Just take it as your friend,
Your beloved friend,
Swear,
I'm here will doing the same,
Keep loving you in my life,
In my heart,
till someday time will decide us,
1 Day...
Friday, 10 June 2011
kau ada dia...
Lirik Lagu Kau Ada Dia(the lima) – cover by me...
Sudah lama ku memendam rasa
Cinta di dalam dada
Namun tidak pernah bersuara
Kerana takut kecewa
Ku tunggu waktu yang lebih baik
Untuk langkah pertama
Jauh dari apa yang ku kira
Hatimu ada yang punya
Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia
Mungkin juga semuanya salah ku
Terlalu mengharapkan cinta
Tapi sepi yang merasuk kalbu
Membawa angan melayang
Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia.
Cinta di dalam dada
Namun tidak pernah bersuara
Kerana takut kecewa
Ku tunggu waktu yang lebih baik
Untuk langkah pertama
Jauh dari apa yang ku kira
Hatimu ada yang punya
Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia
Mungkin juga semuanya salah ku
Terlalu mengharapkan cinta
Tapi sepi yang merasuk kalbu
Membawa angan melayang
Di dalam mimpi kita berdua
Mesra bersama dilamun cinta
Oh tetapi kenyataannya aku sedar kau ada dia.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
1 by 1
dear deep in heart,
haaa...so long time i din't outing my feeling to you deep in heart,1 month din't see and now come june, hmmm,love?hehe love love love still love her,i can't forget her,she is something special that hard to find in this world and maybe she the last 1 only,i still keep thinking of her,when i close my eyes then i was imagine her face,the way she smile,the way her beautiful eyes seeing exactly to my eyes then my heart will be nervous so fast and fast and furius 5...haha...oh telling about that movie it was fantastic and awesome,so cool i'm enjoying anyway...ok back to the story,hmmmm, i don't know how her feeling to me maybe she don't love me anymore because i can feel she happy with someone guy that i know who is him,maybe i regret all in my life, regret because before i can't apreciate her so much,i was not mature,always not trusting her and know that god want to show that i'm not for her because of myself that selfish and can't take care her that better, if i got power and can use 1 time only i want to use to see what in her heart,who she loving?are i'm still in her heart,if i'm still have even just a bit i will be improvement and change to be more mature and be more responsibility and love her all the time and last i want marry her and take care her and my son until i die!!!that a promise,but without her also now i try to learn something to be more mature,learn from my mistake how to be apriciate girl more,how we need give our love all the time to them and know what them like and don't like and also understand their carrier is important how their want to be,give them space too,spent time and important is take care their love and loving each other what in love needed...
other girl come suddenly?
at my place work got girl student print her assignment,3 times ready she come at my work place and the first that she come with her friend girl also come and ask me to find map for her assignment i try help but i can't find because of slow internet and of cause i see her and she see me,i was telling in heart she was beautiful and we always see each other to many times and i think i just like her because she i feel ok la...just like not love...like and love is different.then second time she come she want to reload and she give her phone number to me to reload her but i don't know she just coming to do that?i can feel she want me to sms me but i just make don't understand because ya maybe she just really want to reload and don't have feeling to me anything,that emberassing...then third she come with many her gf and she want print something then i and her like change not joke and shy each other because before we like to joke and laugh again when something funny but now like shy each other and keep looking, i don't know what happen, then now i don't even see her ready...haha i can feel that she have a bf alrady,how come a beautiful girl don't have bf...that lie...hmmm anyway i like her,the way she react and talking...she a good girl...anyway that i call girl suddenly now i don't see her ready i don't know what happen because it just suddenly...to my love i still love you!!!
the way she talk?
before she ever talk that don't wait for her,haiz maybe that she want me to forget her and keep with my love to find other but i don't understand why she so seriously talking like that even before she ever seriously say to me love me so much and won't leave me and promise that i'm forever and ever promise want to marry me 1 day and get a baby...and i was soooo seriously too...i don't know how get her plus she was far away again and i don't know where she is now...at least tell me and don't make me blur ,maybe she just can tell she have someone else ready and i think that fact...haiz i'm not say this to hurting her but just want to know and understand something,i don't want her will mistake with my words...how happy if she can still say love me infront of me and give me a hug...i'm so miss her so much,i wish can get her a hug and a kiss again...but got again important how to take her heart?i don't care if she have someone or not until she not married and tell me she have someone that special ready i won't broke hope to her...i love you delia...andel still in my heart...thanks...
haaa...so long time i din't outing my feeling to you deep in heart,1 month din't see and now come june, hmmm,love?hehe love love love still love her,i can't forget her,she is something special that hard to find in this world and maybe she the last 1 only,i still keep thinking of her,when i close my eyes then i was imagine her face,the way she smile,the way her beautiful eyes seeing exactly to my eyes then my heart will be nervous so fast and fast and furius 5...haha...oh telling about that movie it was fantastic and awesome,so cool i'm enjoying anyway...ok back to the story,hmmmm, i don't know how her feeling to me maybe she don't love me anymore because i can feel she happy with someone guy that i know who is him,maybe i regret all in my life, regret because before i can't apreciate her so much,i was not mature,always not trusting her and know that god want to show that i'm not for her because of myself that selfish and can't take care her that better, if i got power and can use 1 time only i want to use to see what in her heart,who she loving?are i'm still in her heart,if i'm still have even just a bit i will be improvement and change to be more mature and be more responsibility and love her all the time and last i want marry her and take care her and my son until i die!!!that a promise,but without her also now i try to learn something to be more mature,learn from my mistake how to be apriciate girl more,how we need give our love all the time to them and know what them like and don't like and also understand their carrier is important how their want to be,give them space too,spent time and important is take care their love and loving each other what in love needed...
other girl come suddenly?
at my place work got girl student print her assignment,3 times ready she come at my work place and the first that she come with her friend girl also come and ask me to find map for her assignment i try help but i can't find because of slow internet and of cause i see her and she see me,i was telling in heart she was beautiful and we always see each other to many times and i think i just like her because she i feel ok la...just like not love...like and love is different.then second time she come she want to reload and she give her phone number to me to reload her but i don't know she just coming to do that?i can feel she want me to sms me but i just make don't understand because ya maybe she just really want to reload and don't have feeling to me anything,that emberassing...then third she come with many her gf and she want print something then i and her like change not joke and shy each other because before we like to joke and laugh again when something funny but now like shy each other and keep looking, i don't know what happen, then now i don't even see her ready...haha i can feel that she have a bf alrady,how come a beautiful girl don't have bf...that lie...hmmm anyway i like her,the way she react and talking...she a good girl...anyway that i call girl suddenly now i don't see her ready i don't know what happen because it just suddenly...to my love i still love you!!!
the way she talk?
before she ever talk that don't wait for her,haiz maybe that she want me to forget her and keep with my love to find other but i don't understand why she so seriously talking like that even before she ever seriously say to me love me so much and won't leave me and promise that i'm forever and ever promise want to marry me 1 day and get a baby...and i was soooo seriously too...i don't know how get her plus she was far away again and i don't know where she is now...at least tell me and don't make me blur ,maybe she just can tell she have someone else ready and i think that fact...haiz i'm not say this to hurting her but just want to know and understand something,i don't want her will mistake with my words...how happy if she can still say love me infront of me and give me a hug...i'm so miss her so much,i wish can get her a hug and a kiss again...but got again important how to take her heart?i don't care if she have someone or not until she not married and tell me she have someone that special ready i won't broke hope to her...i love you delia...andel still in my heart...thanks...
Sunday, 3 April 2011
lonely again
hi april...
i feel so lonely...i really need someone to care about me and share story and talk...im so lonely...if she have i don't feel lonely so much like now...i really need you...haiz...well i want share what happen today...i was go to 1b then we just hang out,me,lee,danny,joe and shinta lee friend ...so me and just playing dance and then got people not like and do same skill like don't like and after all that we just leave but i'm just go to them and then them ask let fight dance at out from dance then i just said let fight at dance machine,two time i said then he just go away like that,that mean he scared,what the hell he doing,if at outside i can do but can he do at machine dance?i don't think so...so he scared so better don't try to do something with us...if he try do something huh i don't scared i just hit him,i'm really patient ready so better don't bother them just let them jelous of us because their cannot do...i don't what i want type anymore,no idea ready,i just feel lonely...lonely so much...no one care for me...haiz!
anwar
i feel so lonely...i really need someone to care about me and share story and talk...im so lonely...if she have i don't feel lonely so much like now...i really need you...haiz...well i want share what happen today...i was go to 1b then we just hang out,me,lee,danny,joe and shinta lee friend ...so me and just playing dance and then got people not like and do same skill like don't like and after all that we just leave but i'm just go to them and then them ask let fight dance at out from dance then i just said let fight at dance machine,two time i said then he just go away like that,that mean he scared,what the hell he doing,if at outside i can do but can he do at machine dance?i don't think so...so he scared so better don't try to do something with us...if he try do something huh i don't scared i just hit him,i'm really patient ready so better don't bother them just let them jelous of us because their cannot do...i don't what i want type anymore,no idea ready,i just feel lonely...lonely so much...no one care for me...haiz!
anwar
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
need someone?
dear deep in heart,
i'm tired of working,feel like working more than 14hours per day plus with now i'm get ill now,cough,flu,nose and left ear was block.truthful i don't eat medicine,i don't know why,i just hope it gone like that only and drinking a lot of water that enough make me feel got day by day.
before what i do is nothing just like before going mall to practice dance and also training singing...
oh ya about need someone?sometime i was thinking i really need a girl to close with me and be my bff,because i really need a girl to know about my feeling,share story and being together,that better that feeling is it...but i don't feel like want other girl,i just feel want my ex-gf name delia,she nice,pretty,her words always give spirit,caring,loving and she the one can understand about something,shy also but she can be annoying with her typing words haha,so many memory i keep about her and never in my heart to forget about it,she really like to drink air bunga that things i was remember so many time i don't know why,i keeping all her things what she give me and what is the big things i keep is you all must be suprising is i still keep her long hair in my box...i'm still love her so much,every time at my work i will never stop to thinking about her,every time what i do i keep remember about her,what the best things we ever do and something i was thinking also the way we fight and else make me tears,however,4 month did not seeing her that feel like 4 years,oh well,so bad i was loosing her because of my mistake also maybe but she leaving me...:( i don't know...i feel like want her next to me now and if can i want to hug her,she don't give me a last hug,the last one i hold her hand but she just let my hand away and go without looking at me like hatting look at me,it hard is it have to break away from people we so love to much,she was my true love i found that so hard to find replacement,hey first love and first true love is different ok,can imagine it...hmmm better i'm stopping now,feeling sad now...:( bye
*anwar*
i'm tired of working,feel like working more than 14hours per day plus with now i'm get ill now,cough,flu,nose and left ear was block.truthful i don't eat medicine,i don't know why,i just hope it gone like that only and drinking a lot of water that enough make me feel got day by day.
before what i do is nothing just like before going mall to practice dance and also training singing...
oh ya about need someone?sometime i was thinking i really need a girl to close with me and be my bff,because i really need a girl to know about my feeling,share story and being together,that better that feeling is it...but i don't feel like want other girl,i just feel want my ex-gf name delia,she nice,pretty,her words always give spirit,caring,loving and she the one can understand about something,shy also but she can be annoying with her typing words haha,so many memory i keep about her and never in my heart to forget about it,she really like to drink air bunga that things i was remember so many time i don't know why,i keeping all her things what she give me and what is the big things i keep is you all must be suprising is i still keep her long hair in my box...i'm still love her so much,every time at my work i will never stop to thinking about her,every time what i do i keep remember about her,what the best things we ever do and something i was thinking also the way we fight and else make me tears,however,4 month did not seeing her that feel like 4 years,oh well,so bad i was loosing her because of my mistake also maybe but she leaving me...:( i don't know...i feel like want her next to me now and if can i want to hug her,she don't give me a last hug,the last one i hold her hand but she just let my hand away and go without looking at me like hatting look at me,it hard is it have to break away from people we so love to much,she was my true love i found that so hard to find replacement,hey first love and first true love is different ok,can imagine it...hmmm better i'm stopping now,feeling sad now...:( bye
*anwar*
Friday, 25 March 2011
about my feeling
i'm not tired waiting until death time call for,
nothing to regret waiting of you,
i have to wait for you until when i lie down,
until i die i still waiting for you,
i wish to achieve a moon and take a star,
wish i can give all to you,
prove that how big my love,
i want you to know about my feeling,
i want you know my love so big,
want give my time and my age to you until die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBaBYjqaz9M
i have to wait for you until when i lie down,
until i die i still waiting for you,
i wish to achieve a moon and take a star,
wish i can give all to you,
prove that how big my love,
i want you to know about my feeling,
i want you know my love so big,
want give my time and my age to you until die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBaBYjqaz9M
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
WTF...
dear3,
WTF...my connection is always running from the line,i cannot open fb and write my story,today i write also because of my brother broadband...haiyo...so what happen to me in last week is i'm just keep working in my new place with have new friends name eddy and he got wife and have children also,he is a funny and kind,and also khairul, he have a nice vocal of singing quran,and he is ok...hmmm,what happen to me?feel like nothing only,seeing of customer of student at my work place to many want to photocopy and printing their assignment and talk with them just how there are with the school and just talk with funny story to make them not to tension and no worries,got girl also interest with me but i don't have time for all that because of i want to be success and also yes just because i still love my ex-gf even before she say don't hoping with her love anymore but in front of her i just show that but in back i will still hoping of her love again until when she is not anyone that i can do to show how high my love to her,got again she sms me and tell me don't be with girl that can change my attitude and choose girl make me do bad things,i don't understand,but i can see she still care about me and worry about me,i also care and worry about her,before everything i was share with her but now i don't have place to express my feeling,maybe that why i'm writing in here to express what my heart feel,and no one will understand how is me and no one anymore,i got say also that she should give that care to someone else already because i really not decent,i really wish no don't i don't want it happen...:"(,i still loving her,but if that make her happy i have to accept all that things even it make me feel so hurt and depress...
sunday, like always is i go have fun with my frineds lee,danny,joe,roy, and many again we all training to dance up machine ddr and pump it,it always fun and making me out of stress of everything,i like to dance and singing,hey i can dance and hey i can singing too,artist?i can make sound like singer anuar zain from malaysia and my name also anwar just different w and u and also father name,haha,so that all happen to me and also learning L kick...yeah!!!
*from shuffler dance*
anwar peace and love...
WTF...my connection is always running from the line,i cannot open fb and write my story,today i write also because of my brother broadband...haiyo...so what happen to me in last week is i'm just keep working in my new place with have new friends name eddy and he got wife and have children also,he is a funny and kind,and also khairul, he have a nice vocal of singing quran,and he is ok...hmmm,what happen to me?feel like nothing only,seeing of customer of student at my work place to many want to photocopy and printing their assignment and talk with them just how there are with the school and just talk with funny story to make them not to tension and no worries,got girl also interest with me but i don't have time for all that because of i want to be success and also yes just because i still love my ex-gf even before she say don't hoping with her love anymore but in front of her i just show that but in back i will still hoping of her love again until when she is not anyone that i can do to show how high my love to her,got again she sms me and tell me don't be with girl that can change my attitude and choose girl make me do bad things,i don't understand,but i can see she still care about me and worry about me,i also care and worry about her,before everything i was share with her but now i don't have place to express my feeling,maybe that why i'm writing in here to express what my heart feel,and no one will understand how is me and no one anymore,i got say also that she should give that care to someone else already because i really not decent,i really wish no don't i don't want it happen...:"(,i still loving her,but if that make her happy i have to accept all that things even it make me feel so hurt and depress...
sunday, like always is i go have fun with my frineds lee,danny,joe,roy, and many again we all training to dance up machine ddr and pump it,it always fun and making me out of stress of everything,i like to dance and singing,hey i can dance and hey i can singing too,artist?i can make sound like singer anuar zain from malaysia and my name also anwar just different w and u and also father name,haha,so that all happen to me and also learning L kick...yeah!!!
*from shuffler dance*
anwar peace and love...
Sunday, 6 March 2011
better good and better not
dear deep in heart,
thankful i'm still here and have time to write about my story in here.
last week was a busy and tired tired and tired,learn something new at place where i work and i was work at printing and top up shop i think i become pro so quickly, and i also busy with my business networking finding clients and introducing them about my business and products.i also try to think and design how to make special landscape,so i make 3 jobs here,phew...about my study?i already stop because i cannot concentrate study anymore and i keep fail,before my study was ok because my point become up and up but after my lover leave me it become down and down,i study and get spirit because of her but now not anymore,but maybe if i become successfully 1 day i will continue my study maybe next year and become a good and top student i wish...:)then,yesterday my ex-gf got s.m.sing and she say she miss my attention then i feel sad because i miss her attention too because i have no one special that want to know about me and worry about me also take care about me,before i was s.m.sing her with rude but suddenly i just talk with her like before and ask her how she is,i think she is happy with her friends and her school because i got talk with her i still love her with full my heart and also of cause i read her blog about her story what she doing,that mean i do worry about her and that good she fine and happy there but i'm so wish she not fall in love with someone else because i still want her...:( she like become social to much ready but i trust her with what she doing and know how to take care...hmmmmm about today i was enjoying my outing at centerpoint at last i can dance shuffle at dance dance revolution machine(ddr) and many people watch me dance and i'm doing well about my dance...hihi...
then i playing puncher with my friends,oh my friends with me was danny and ah seng,my other friend lee is late because he from church and plus with rain again he try to outing find us,and he just stay at ddr there and my friend ah seng bring me go up to see his friends then it was girl name eqa and her sister and another girl again then eqa also was my friend at my college and before long time ago we ever couple in 1 week but only at phone,we never know each other then we choose to become a friend only,then i just blur and she push me to go inside k-box
that i don't know their will booking place for me and ah seng too,then ah seng don't want go in but she already push me and ask me to go in to singing with them too,i think she have a nice voice and just improve again she will good in singing then she coercive to singing and i don't know that song and she ask me to sing also and say with rude words,she was crude girl and then i know she was a smoking too...wow...that so dangerous...hehehe,but i can see deep her actually she is a nice girl and cute girl but i don't know what behind all this so better i think about myself is it...phewwwww...that all for today because tomorrow i need to go work again,sunday is my rest day but i hate for today because to many people on sunday...haiyo...that all...
xxxanwarxxx
peace and love always
thankful i'm still here and have time to write about my story in here.
last week was a busy and tired tired and tired,learn something new at place where i work and i was work at printing and top up shop i think i become pro so quickly, and i also busy with my business networking finding clients and introducing them about my business and products.i also try to think and design how to make special landscape,so i make 3 jobs here,phew...about my study?i already stop because i cannot concentrate study anymore and i keep fail,before my study was ok because my point become up and up but after my lover leave me it become down and down,i study and get spirit because of her but now not anymore,but maybe if i become successfully 1 day i will continue my study maybe next year and become a good and top student i wish...:)then,yesterday my ex-gf got s.m.sing and she say she miss my attention then i feel sad because i miss her attention too because i have no one special that want to know about me and worry about me also take care about me,before i was s.m.sing her with rude but suddenly i just talk with her like before and ask her how she is,i think she is happy with her friends and her school because i got talk with her i still love her with full my heart and also of cause i read her blog about her story what she doing,that mean i do worry about her and that good she fine and happy there but i'm so wish she not fall in love with someone else because i still want her...:( she like become social to much ready but i trust her with what she doing and know how to take care...hmmmmm about today i was enjoying my outing at centerpoint at last i can dance shuffle at dance dance revolution machine(ddr) and many people watch me dance and i'm doing well about my dance...hihi...
then i playing puncher with my friends,oh my friends with me was danny and ah seng,my other friend lee is late because he from church and plus with rain again he try to outing find us,and he just stay at ddr there and my friend ah seng bring me go up to see his friends then it was girl name eqa and her sister and another girl again then eqa also was my friend at my college and before long time ago we ever couple in 1 week but only at phone,we never know each other then we choose to become a friend only,then i just blur and she push me to go inside k-box
that i don't know their will booking place for me and ah seng too,then ah seng don't want go in but she already push me and ask me to go in to singing with them too,i think she have a nice voice and just improve again she will good in singing then she coercive to singing and i don't know that song and she ask me to sing also and say with rude words,she was crude girl and then i know she was a smoking too...wow...that so dangerous...hehehe,but i can see deep her actually she is a nice girl and cute girl but i don't know what behind all this so better i think about myself is it...phewwwww...that all for today because tomorrow i need to go work again,sunday is my rest day but i hate for today because to many people on sunday...haiyo...that all...
xxxanwarxxx
peace and love always
you are as my flower
love,
you are flower that hiding behind wall,
wall that are closet around my heart,
why flower should be fade so fast,
maybe it some of mistake,
mistake that forget to put on water,
but that not mean i forget you flower,
you a something shining,
when i looked at you,
you actually can make people smiling,
anywhere,anytime, and all day.
love,
colourful of your flower is so meaning,
you are parable princess that care,
you are parable angel give spirit,
you are no two another words to call you flower,
you have that smell that i wont forget,
smell that i never forget in my mine,
always feel want smell you in a right time,
when in time i missing you,
that why i love you like flower.
Friday, 25 February 2011
tonight feel so lonely
feel sad,i feel so sad in my heart and of cause if me you all can call a guy always fail in love,but i trust in true love,people say if we patient and wait about love even we fail for the first it but sometimes it will be a new and old,but i trust that love come by itself,why when boy and girl still same in love need to be separate?i think i know what is the answer,maybe it learn how change attitude how to be more mature,responsibility,control emotion,know partner more better and also because of career and maybe studying because all that is important to be a mature...today she was s.m.sin me and saying congrats to me because of i get new girlfriend,suddenly i'm shock that what going on?i told her that she not my girlfriend,for a long time i still loving you since you leave me,i'm still faithful here just because i'm keep my promise that you are my true love and i always missing you all day and all night i keep dreaming you,then i answer with rude to her,i don't know how i want to talk with her as long not talk,s.m.s and also call,and i got a bit angry also of course because she leaving me and not me leaving her,and i just s.m.sin back to her with rude and actually i don't want do that,if can i want to say with softly and i really want to expression that i love her,i miss you,you know that...but i feel i can't,i need to do this,i care for her,i know she sad and i don't want make you sad but i have to...if i have chance to talk with her i would say hey,do you know why i love you?because god want us to be together like adam and hawa,like romeo and juliet...what anything happen in this world their love not going to be let go so easier... then she text me at my facebook and say why i messages you if i don't? then i just rude her again,i feel i'm so bad again to her what also before happen,i can feel she miss me too and i miss you also,i wish that we never end our relationship but all that she don't want ready and i'm so sad with what she do but i'm still going to love her and pray to god that one day i can meet with her again with no disappointed...
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